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And then I didn’t know what to do with her when she made those doe eyes at me and said she was really, really, really looking forward to hanging out again. I can’t feel great about these stories since the experience for these ladies was probably not hugely validating.

And hey, maybe I was just flattering myself and they weren’t that into me either.

Why waste time when a better match is around the corner? In every interaction, whether on phone, online or in person, keep in mind, “There’s a real human being on the other end, and a small but nonzero chance this guy/girl could be my future ex-spouse.” So be nice now, and pay attention. If you were to remember one of the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Toltec wisdom, let it be #2: don’t take anything personally.

In the meantime, it still sucks to be on the receiving end.Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way.One saving grace is that most people, male or female, usually aren’t doing this stuff deliberately.Or, 95.4% of the time, he’s just thinking, hey, there’s an outside chance I could get laid here. If you want steady boyfriend leading to marriage and 2.3 kids and he wants Wednesday Arm Candy #3, we have a mismatch.On the other hand, if you’re both on the same page, whether it’s a short-, medium- or long-term page, things have a better chance of working out than when your relationship goals are at odds. Now, I’ve never been a lion or gazelle, but I can imagine that the chief emotion that the lion was feeling at that moment was confusion.He thinks you’re really cool and sexy, likes you a lot, but knows that if you two started dating seriously, you mesh so well you wouldn’t be able to break up, and you’re already 40 and not all that into having kids, and he kinda does want kids sometime this millennium. So you need to know what you’re getting yourself into, and to compare that with what you would like to get yourself into.


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